If you are familiar with any of Dr. Sue Johnson’s work, you know that she often refers to the intimate love relationship between two people as a dance. As a couple’s therapist I often find that when couple’s come in for therapy that their dance has gotten a little off kilter. Whether, you are just entering a committed relationship, are newly married or have been at this dance with your partner for 20 plus years, I want to propose that couple’s therapy is and will always be the best dance lesson you will have.
Below are 5 reasons why you should consider couples therapy.
Couple’s therapy helps secure your bond with one another. The more secure we feel in partner the more secure we can feel in our personal lives as an individual. We are wired for connection. It is innate to want to depend on another human being. However, for so long our society as made us feel that to depend on someone else means we are weak! Oh but on the contrary my friend! To be who we were created to be is to depend on another.
Healing takes place in the context of relationships. We all have our stories that we are holding onto. Some more painful than others. When we take the time to share our stories with our partners and we feel heard and seen, that is when true connection can take place. Brene Brown says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of everything we hungry for.” What are you hungry for in your relationship?
Couple’s therapy is a great place for self-discovery. This might seem like a better place for individual therapy but I want to propose that couple’s therapy is really the best place to discover more about yourself. When we are as deeply connected to another human being as we are in intimate relationships, we often begin to learn things about ourselves that we never knew. Our partners bring out some of our deepest hurts, wants and needs.
Couple’s therapy is a great place for partner discovery. In the same way that we can discover more about ourselves through couple’s therapy, we can do the same type of discovery about our partner. The better you know your partner, the more beautiful your dance can be.
Couple’s therapy can be a lot of fun! Couples often come into therapy as their last ditch effort but I want to challenge this pattern! Couple’s therapy can also be a place for continued growth, a place to learn new ways to connect and a place for proactive work! Working with couple’s is one of my favorite things to do because it can be so hopeful and so much fun if you let it be.
If any of these things resonate with you I want to encourage you to take that step and enter into one of the most exciting, sometimes uncomfortable, rewarding dance lessons of your life: couple’s therapy.
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